1 night talk

I havent got my rest and I just finished up with my assignments.

Still thinking of what she say through the phone over night, I can see that she wants to carry on this relationship with me. Though we are starting all over from friend again, at least there is still hope. Just felt like my dreams was shattered into pieces.... Like I got it last week, and now it is all gone. Howeverm I just got to blame on my self, for making her feel so stress and not able to give her space.

I know it has been tough on her, and I am terribly sorry for it. I don't know how to help her, all I know is just to keep quiet now.

When she tell me she wanted her single life again, I didn't know what to do either. Perhaps she should, and leave me alone. I am thinking. But all I want her to know is that with her around, I have so much happiness, and I really hope to continue this. But love is something that requires both party. So I respect her space too.

I hope you can be with me, and continues to be.

I am Back!!

Wow! I believe this blog has been dramatically dead for the past half a year. Now time to revive it....

Hmm... Believe what you believe have been difficult for me this few days. (That is also why I am back writting on blog, when I have difficulty) Why believe what you believe have been difficult? In the past, I have been a self confident, super self motivated guy who can also really influence people around me.

But now, I realise something, that was because I can really let go. But I have not solve the problem of grasping. I am grasping on something. Something so precious. Anytime, if it was to go, I think I can take it, but now I have a problem, I want to hold on to it and not let it go. I hope this is not confusing. Grasping has made me came down to emotion again and again, like being selfish, self possessive, un caring, thinking too much, thinking too much in the negative way, temper rising, and doing stuff that are unnecessary.

Now, I have to learn not to grasp too. I always remember what my teacher say, letting go and no grasping is to be cultivated for any good relationship to exist. And his famous example, like holding a coin, with your palms facing up, you are not letting go because it is still on yout hand. However you are not grasping onto it too, it just rests on your hand. If it were to go, it will, if it were to stay, it will. I am not doing all of this during all this while, I am holding so tight, too tight, that you can't breath, and I am sorry for this too.

And now I understand why my teacher keep on warning me, Jianhong, you can let go, very good, but you must learn not to grasp, Life is beyond grasping and letting go. Now I understand why he keep on warning me. Now, I know where my true problems lie. And my vow to you is I will try my best to solve that.

Sometime, easier said than done, but I got to learn too. This is part and parcel of life, part and parcel of becoming better, improving. That is why I always say I am not good enough. Or If i am a good person, there would be no bad person. I want to continuously improve, and in my opinion, some might say good enough liao, don't need to. But if I don't, they will say why you not improving? So that is why I chose to improve.

I would like to thank you for opening up my life to another phase and continuously letting me learn how to be better. I know you feel that I am good enough for you, but sometimes, I still do some stuff to make u sad or angry. And I am terribly sorry for it, but I hope it is a thing that we continue to grow, an opportunity for us to grow, to be closer, to understand more, to understand the tough way, but sometimes life is that tough.

quotes

if there is something that would not change,
it would be "change"



we search high and low for everything..
but end up with nothing..
living with nothing..
doesnt lose anything..
but we make something out from nothing..
in chinese.. wu zhong sheng you..

intership nowadays!!

hahaz.. super long never update my blog...

hmm... have been interning with Singapore expo for the past few weeks..

travelling to and fro is a problem of 3 hours.. so shiok..

ok.. enough of complaining...

to all who are still studying out there.. enjoy studying.. now i know why everybody say the same thing to me when i was studying..

I have been thinking about this.. we have been searching for what we want for so long.. up and down left and right... but we still seems to still be searching.. when will it ever end?? we look for fame, money and pleasure and at the end of the life, what have we left?? nothing too... so if it is nothing.. then should leave with nothing?? or should we make use of nothing to make something.. apparently.. it seems like it is possible.. this earth also came out from nothing... then suddenly, a big bang came by and here we are... some may say that the big bang is the one.. bt wat could be before that?? only the end of something could be the beginning of a new thing..

so it is either we live with changes or let changes kill us?

change is part of our live and we make it a way of live...

hahaz.. seems like life ain't that easy...

MILK!!

recently there has been the case of the china milk containing melamine.. and could cause drastic effect on the stomach and intestines... hmm.. a lot of us could have been largely affected by this MILK... I thought this is a very interesting case if you want to change your mindset when you face problem...

i received this sms from a friend in my temple saying it is karma... i have been eating white rabbit tooth for the past 10 years... and now it is something that harms the body... and tt's y her body is not in a good condition now.. then my thought next is it only her suffering and no one else? commonly, we will think about others who have also suffered the same way us... then this will lessen the thinking that only me is uffering like tt.. and if you think of those baby that die so young and you have lived till now.. and still breathing now... u feel more fortunate than others.. this will help lessen some of the problem... but if you think that the person who sells and manufacture the white rabbit tooth.. they would suffer more than we do.. not only have they been dealing with business that is unethical... they would have lost their wealth.. on karma language would be... they have recieve negative karma from unethical dealings and exhaust theur postivie karma of wealth... then i know some would say.. they so bad sell this kind of thing.. y shloud we help them? not worth it wadddd... then think about it... they dont it to harm us.. they do it to get their happiness.. they need the money to sustain their life.. they are seeking for their own happiness.. so if u get angry at someone who is looking for happiness.. then u shld be angry at urself too... no matter is it the correct way to acheive happiness or the wrong way.. they are still seeking happiness.. just like u do.. so there is no basis to get angry at them and curse them... and not help them..

i rmbr this discussion with vegans... a person who sells meat is supposingly not ethical in buddhism view.. so they were saying that we should not support the meat seller.. as there is demand and supply... then i ask them the supply comes to us bcux of demand or is it bcux of their "demand"? their demand for own happiness.. with the profits of selling meat they can sustain their living... or is it bcux of demand from our side? i wont deny it is bth... bt dont forget... their motivation is the first one when they starts selling...

so when we face a problem.. it is just changing ur thinking from another side.. and you will realise that there is no basis to get angry... just like the MILK!!

exams result is out!

BA0206 INDEPENDENT STUDY PROJECT A
BA0409 RESORT MANAGEMENT A
BA0410 AIRLINE SERVICES MANAGEMENT A
BA0283 TOURISM LAW AND ETHICS DIST
BA0229 PROFESSIONAL PREPARATION B+
BA0411 INTEGRATED MARKETING IN TOURISM B+

Semester GPA: 3.825

SO DAMN PROUD OF IT!!

happy mooncake festival..

happy mooncake festival everybodyy...

and this lights is for special you!! hahaz..